keepin' it real.

the idea of being a first time mom is exciting. everyone seems really interested in how me & the baby are doing, and of course, there is no shortage of suggestions and unsolicited advice being thrown my way.

honestly? I LOVE being pregnant. there are some down sides, but the outcome will make me forget about the pain in my pelvis and the horrid morning sickness that ruled my life for 4 weeks. I cannot wait for the day that I get to meet this little person that I've been housing in my womb. I already feel such a strong bond between baby Q & myself.

with all that said, I'm here to confess... I am scared shitless. I know it's normal to be nervous, so I don't feel guilty for feeling just a tad bit crazy brained when I think about the grand scheme of things. but because I like to keep it real here, I'm gunna lay out all these crazy thoughts that occupy my brain from time to time:

I'm terrified that I won't be able making it to 40 weeks. I've been having some pretty bad round ligament/pelvis pain for a few weeks and I keep thinking... "holy shit, I still have 22 weeks to go and I'm only going to have more weight to carry on this pelvis that feels like it may or may not collapse at any moment."

not only am I going to get bigger and struggle more to carry this baby, but it's going to be fucking hot. I thought I was going to pass out in the grocery store last weekend because it was hotter than normal in the frozen foods section. how the hell am I going to handle the high humidity Maryland summer?

I love the fruit size updates I get every week from The Bump. and then I realize that by week 40, baby Q is going to be the size of a watermelon. I'm going to push (that's the plan, at least) a watermelon out of my vagina. and I might poop in front of people other than my husband. I know at that point I won't care, but right now, it's a gross thought.

babies cry. a lot. and they can't tell you what's wrong. I'm so scared that I won't be able to know what's wrong with him/her to make him/her stop crying. how will I know if baby is eating enough or is pooping enough? they don't come with a manual and I think they should.

also? SIDS. fucking TERRIFYING.

breastfeeding. I hear it hurts. and can be reaaaaaally hard emotionally. postpartum depression doesn't really sound like a ball of fun either. baby blues scares me.

and then I buck up and say, "self, you got this. you're a nurturer by nature, you can take care of a baby. you will push that watermelon out like a champ, and you will know, thanks to motherly instinct, why your crying baby is upset. the baby will like breastfeeding, or it won't... no biggie. formula kids are awesome too."

and then the new fears hit me. for instance... this kid is mine now. forever. I have another human being that I am solely responsible for. I have a real opportunity to completely fuck this little creature up and give it real life problems. what if he/she becomes a drug addict, or a murderer? or what happens if he/she is bullied in school? omg, school. how will I handle sending my precious child out into the world?

... holy shit. I have a feeling that this worrying doesn't go away any time soon. so uh, thanks for reading?

DISCLAIMER: please know that regardless of these fears, I am so incredibly lucky to have this baby growing inside of me. I cannot wait to meet him/her and cherish every wonderful (and frightening) moment I have with him/her. and hopefully I don't fuck him/her up too bad.

le 17 week bump.

so after I posted last week's bump-date, I went home and stole Sean's cell phone to take a bump picture. so yeah, this is a week old, but I figured I'd post it anyway to have it documented. 

disclaimer: my mirror is disgusting. this is what happens when you have a bizarre feline who LOVES water. he dips his head under the running faucet and then shakes off like a dog. 

also, this was taken after a trip to the mall and a healthy (read: large) slice of pizza from Mama Sbarro's. therefore, the bump is not ALL baby. you've been warned. 

from the front: 

and the side view:

happy Monday! 

baby Q bump watch - week 17

I seriously suck at documenting the bump pictures. just know that it's there and that I'm wearing it loud and proud. I am officially in maternity jeans now and I don't think I'll be going back to regular clothes EVER. even after baby Q is here. they are so comfortable. 

soooo since I don't have a bump picture, here's a shark robe.

baby shark

how far along? 

17 weeks, sucka. 

how big is the baby? 

baby Q is the size of an onion. she weighs about 5.9 ounces and is roughly 5.1 inches long from rump to crown. baby cartilage is turning to bone and her umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger. 

total weight gain: 

my scale at home is whack, so I'm not going by what it tells me. I'll know on Friday.

sleep: 

still great! I get up to pee a few times, but I fall right back asleep.

best moment of the week: 

buying a jar of pickles on Sunday. it's the little things.

also, I think I may have felt a little baby tickle last week. I'm not sure if it was baby or gas though, so I'm not looking too much into it. 

food cravings: 

so many, and SO random. pickles, Italian ice, root beer floats, pickles, and crab chips. 

did I mention pickles? 

food aversions: 

nadda.

symptoms: 

awful pain in my pelvis, which I plan on asking my doctor about on Friday. still getting the occasional headache and only pooping once (or twice, if I'm lucky) a week. not feeling too bad these days though. 

gender sex: 

we'll find out on April 5th. 

most looking forward to: 

our next appointment on Friday. and not baby related? Hunger Games on Thursday night, the Caps game Friday night, and celebrating my birthday at The Melting Pot on Saturday night.

what I miss right now: 

nothing really. 

next appointment: 

Friday! :)

Friday loves

this onesie from Monkey and the Bug. 

holy shit. adorable, right?
and if you've been here for a while, you know how much I love alligators. 

although, $40 is a leeeeeettle pricey for a onesie. 

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a pool party for elephants. 

squeeeeeeeee!

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this recipe for slow cooker Chicken Caesar Sandwiches looks amazing. 

I think I'm going to try it on Sunday. it'll be awesome to bring for lunch, too!

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free Whale of a Tale print over at irocksowhat.

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um, these socks are amazing.
they're superhero socks. with capes. 

SOCKS WITH CAPES, YA'LL.

I already told Sean that I'd be wearing the Wonder Woman ones during labor.

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this Etsy shop.
she sells ridiculously cute cloth diaper covers.
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this home in Portland, professionally crashed by YHL. 
holy crap. I want to live there.
specifically, I'd like to live in the kitchen. so bright & fun!

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these organizing storage bins for your fridge. 
from C&B, of course.
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Happy Friday, bitches!

11 things!

I was tagged again in the 11 things meme (by the lovely Mrs. Parker), and since I already played along in this tag game here, I figured I'd go ahead and answer her questions. :)

1.  Least favorite subject in high school?

ceramics. as artsy as I was, I SUCKED at making pots and shit. 

2.  Who was your childhood hero?

Clarissa... she Knows It All.

3.  What major US city could you see yourself living in?

I couldn't, honestly. I'm just not a city girl. I like the quiet. 

4.  Biggest fear?

jellyfish. irrational, I know.

5.  If you could go back to college, what would you study?

I'd finish up my interior design degree... which I plan on doing after this baby comes.

6.  Have you ever wanted to learn another language? Which one?

I was ----><---- this close to being fluent in French before graduating. my friends & I would have secret conversations at parties and no one knew what we were talking about. so, I'd pick French.

7.  Coca-Cola or Pepsi?

Pepsi.

8.  What is your favorite way to relax?

curl up with a good book.

9.  Favorite current obsession?

this fetus in my body. pretty much takes up all of my brain power these days.

10.  Who is your favorite sporting team?

right now? Washington Capitals.

11.  How would you spend $10million?

I'd do all the boring stuff like buy a house, pay off debt, donate to charity, etc. and then I'd buy a hippo, go to the Superbowl, get Lasik and laser hair removal, buy new cars (in cash, of course), and travel around the world in a hot air balloon. 

baby Q bump watch - week 16

this is the last photo I took on my phone before it stopped taking pictures. I think that's a sign that I need to stop being lazy and break out the Canon to take my weekly bump photos. I'm going to try to get my chalkboard together this week so I can decorate it all fancy like. weeeee!

anyway. yep, that's my pee in a cup. and yes, I spent $40 on that stupid thing. I think it's a girl, my urine thinks it's a boy... it's me vs. you, pee test. we'll find out for sure in 23 days! 

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how far along? 

16 weeks. 

how big is the baby? 

baby is the size of an avocado - she measures 4.6 inches long from rump to crown and weighs about 3.5 ounces. she can hear now, thanks to tiny bones forming in her ears. she's also forming taste buds and growing hair. 

total weight gain: 

I'm not weighing myself at home. I'd rather go by the doctor's scale... so I'll know next Friday. 

sleep: 

still awesome sauce. I seriously sleep like a rock. I get up to pee a lot, but I did that before I was pregnant. 

best moment of the week: 

indulging in my seafood craving by ordering crab legs at dinner on Saturday night. I was in my happy place, fo sho. 

food cravings: 

sadly, I want nothing but junk right now. I had a dream last night about eating a giant burger with mac & cheese on it. how fucking awesome does that sound?!

food aversions: 

nadda. I feel like I could happily eat anything now.  

symptoms: 

same as last week - round ligament pain, headaches, and constipation. I also had some annoying nasal congestion for about a week, but that's gone for now. OH, and pregnancy brain. holy shit, I've never felt so dumb in my life. 

gender sex: 

we'll find out on April 5th. 

most looking forward to: 

our appointment next week ON MY BIRTHDAY. 

what I miss right now: 

I reaaaaally want a turkey sub. 

next appointment: 

still March 23rd. 

fill in the blank Friday

fill in your own blanks here! 

1.  My favorite room in my home is     our living room    because     the couch is the most comfortable couch in the WORLD. yes, the WORLD. I dare you to challenge me.

2.   My current decor style is    pregnant & lazy .  but I wish it were more     ... uh... not lazy? our house is pretty traditional in a sense, but the decor makes it more modern and eclectic, I guess. I love to accessorize & our furniture is a mix of styles.

3.  I wish I could redecorate the     bedroom     room in my house to make it more      stylish. right now there's not a whole lot going on - boring paint color, boring curtains, boring lamps... it needs pizzazz.

4. My dream house absolutely has to have a    master suite. I have been SO spoiled with a bathroom connected to our bedroom.

5. One house item I am willing to splurge on is   a couch. <---- same here. we spent a pretty penny on our couch, and it was worth it considering it's where we spend most of our time .

6. A decor trend that I just don't "get" is    themed nurseries. it's just not my style at ALL. I want a room that baby can grow in, and Winnie The Pooh is not the answer for that .

7.   Our super comfy fleece blanket    is a little touch that makes my house feel like home.

baby Q bump watch - week 15

no bump picture this week, guys. I've been sick since Sunday, bleh. I did get my ass outta bed for the Caps game last night (they lost) though. I've been depending on nasal spray and Tylenol to heal me, but ultimately, I've decided that it REALLY sucks being sick while pregnant.

how far along? today, I'm 15 weeks, 1 day. 

how big is the baby? baby is the size of a naval orange - weighs 2.5 ounces and is 4 inches long from crown to rump. baby's proportions are becoming normal now that her legs are longer than her arms. 

total weight gain: I haven't gotten on the scale, but I think I'm about the same - probably still down 5-6lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.  

sleep: eh, sleep has been iffy the last week, but that has a lot to do with my being sick and not being able to breathe out of my nose. 

best moment of the week: belly rubs from friends while out Saturday night. 

food cravings: nothing in particular. 

food aversions: tacos. it's really the only thing I don't want. <---- still this. 

symptoms: RLP is still a bitch, and I've been developing headaches as well. oh, and the constipation... although it's solved pretty quickly with a few days of taking Colace. 

gender: we'll find out on April 5th. 

most looking forward to: feeling better! and I'm looking forward to some weekend activities. 

what I miss right now: NyQuil, haha. 

next appointment: still March 23rd. 

Friday loves (it's back!)

after a brief hiatus, the Friday loves feature is back here at TBNT! weeeee!

this top from Old Navy (thank you Sarah!). 

it's navy blue and it's covered in teeny little cats. meeeeeow. 

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my bloggy friend Vicki, is also with child.
we're only two weeks apart. I am beyond thrilled to have someone to share the joys & pains with!
yay for pregnant friends!  
(andplusalso, she's super cute & fashionable, so even if you don't care that we're knocked up simultaneously, you should check out her shit anyway)
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Pandemonium was released this week!
I read Delirium last year and LOVED it. Pandemonium is the second book in this trilogy.
I already have it waiting on my Kindle for me. I can't wait to dive in!

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this series of videos on cloth diapering.
I've known from the get-go that I would be cloth diapering our baby. the problem was that there was SO much information out there and I didn't know where to start. these videos helped immensely in identifying the different types of diapers and how to use them.

and along the same note, my friend Laura writes a cloth diapering blog. I started drilling her about cloth diapering a newborn, so she wrote a post ALL about it. check it out here.
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this collection of neon DIY projects.
I especially love the vases & the friendship bracelets.
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YHL's sneak peek of their cork flooring.
I can't wait to see how it looks completed!
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this swimsuit from Motherhood.
loving the gingham & the halter top.

oh, and this one too. love the navy color!

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Burt's Bees Tinted Lip Balm.
I bought this at the store this week, and I lurve it.
I got the "Hibiscus" color and it's perfect. I love that it's not a lipstick, and it solves my chapped lips problem that has been consistent through this pregnancy so far.
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Happy Friday, folks! 

fill in the blank Friday

play along with Lauren here! 

1.  The highlight of my week was   hmmm I didn't do anything exciting this week. although, the grilled chicken salad we had for dinner the other night was TO DIE FOR.

2.   If I had to classify my interior design aesthetic it would be   an eclectic mix of modern and whimsical. I like bright colors, but natural tones & textures as well. 

3.  My first vehicle was   a 1996 Nissan Sentra. that thing was a beast.

4. An item I need to have in my day in order to function is  a bottle of water. I drink at least 80oz a day.

5. My favorite way to waste time is   Pinterest. definitely Pinterest. 

6. Right now I could really go for   a fresh fruit salad.

7.  This weekend I will be   spending some time with the girls, visiting my tattoo shop (while Sean gets his half sleeve finished), celebrating Aubrey's birthday, and having brunch with my bride-to-be, Kaycie.