Thursday, March 31, 2011

silence the mean girl

I saw this over at Amy's place and KNEW I had to repost and share with you all. if you haven't heard about the Mean Stinks campaign yet (it's slowly making its way around the blogosphere), check it out over here on Facebook.

this is so fitting for me right now, because in recent months, I've decided to make a conscious effort in shedding my inner mean girl. while I will always be an opinionated and vocal person, I will no longer waste my time focusing on negative energy. this means trying really hard not to gossip about others, even when it's encouraged by others. it means biting my tongue when the rude part of me wants to rip someone a new one, and ignoring the negativity around me. it means not criticizing women based on what they wear, how attractive they are, or who they know.

I wouldn't say that I've really been a MEAN person, but I've made the mistake in the past of speaking the truth for the sake of showing how "honest" I am, and I've hurt peoples' feelings. I've gossiped (haven't we all?) behind the backs of other girls, and I've participated in general harassment of others for a good laugh. I've been involved in other folks' drama just because it was interesting and entertaining for me, and not because I actually gave a shit about the outcome. I'm not proud of that, but it was a very Mean Girl thing to do, and I'm passed that stage in my life.

females have the tendency to bring each other down - instead of seeing the good in each other, we pick each other apart and constantly compare ourselves to the girl standing next to us. don't get me wrong... it's difficult sometimes, because it's so easy to get caught up in gossip and it's even easier to judge someone based on appearances. acting like a Mean Girl is something that every girl has done at one point in their life, and while it's not something we SHOULD do, we are all guilty of it. 


the first step in changing your usual behavior is accepting that it's time for an adjustment. I feel that making this a goal for myself will greatly increase my own positivity in life. I want to be a happier, healthier, nicer MandeeFoFandee, and this is only one of many steps I'm taking to achieve that status.

so instead of looking at another girl and thinking "god, she should really do something with her hair," I'm going think "wow, that's a great top, and it's really flattering on her." instead of partaking in the bashing of other women amongst friends, I'll attempt to say something positive about the situation or person of interest. I want to encourage women to be themselves, and I want to treat others with respect that I would expect from them. 

I think it's awesome and inspiring when women lift each other up. while we obviously all live very different lives, we are all similar in that we live through the same life experiences... we all encounter heartbreak & love, life & death, old & new. it shows courage to praise and strengthen one another for no reason other than the fact that they have the same body parts.

I'm not saying shit is going to be all kumbaya and that I'm suddenly going to be the most perfect person ever, but I do really want to try to silence that inner bad girl part of myself that often gets me into trouble. this is a process that I began in the beginning of the year... just never really blogged about it, I guess. most people will roll their eyes when they read this, I'm sure, because it sounds ridiculous to some. I've been doing well for the most part, although I have had a few relapses here and there. 

I'm sure that I'll slip up in the future, but I'm only human. robots are mistake proof, and I am surely not a robot.

so tell me... do you have an inner mean girl?


  1. I think it's so great that this is something people can partake in. I've been so wrapped up in judgment before, and I thought I couldn't help it, but I can.

    Last night I saw this girl wearing huge track pants and heels. My friend and I just looked at each and kind of laughed...and then I caught myself doing it and was like "Maybe she doesn't have a choice to wear that, maybe she had really uncomfortable work clothes on and forgot spare shoes..."

    I really judge people by what they wear and that needs to stop on my end. I also do it while watching TV, and that's doing nobody any good except just filling myself with a negative attitude!

    Good luck on squashing the inner mean girl!!

  2. this picture is now up on my facebook. I'm in a very competitive nursing school, competitve with grades, competitve with looks, competitive with who is the favorite, etc. and not to say that I am perfect but there are MANY girls in our graduating class that can't stop putting other girls down. Its like we wen't back to high school. I chime in every now and then with a laugh and a joke, so thank you for the reminder. hopefully they will all get a glimpse and it can spread a little further.


  3. Oh girl, I am the meaniest of the mean in my head. Luckily I have a pretty good filter in place and most of my thoughts don't escape my mouth.

    But I can see the advantage to striving for niceness. However...what if you have a co-worker who farts...out loud...repeatedly..without even acknowledging it? How am I suppose to NOT gossip about that?


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