Reverb 10 - December 16th

December 16: Friendship

How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I wouldn't necessarily say that a friend changed me, but an old friend's actions definitely made me revisit my standards of friendships. this old friend is the same person mentioned in this post and this post. because of her friendship (or lack there of), I've had to reevaluate myself, along with my current relationships.

moreso, my perspective on friendships has ultimately been changed... and it has been a gradual change since this time last year. I believe it's been a change for the better, especially because I've begun to raise my standards when it comes to friendships. 

I've also discovered a handful of true friends in my life, and it's amazing to build on those friendships now that I'm not distracted by a toxic one. those friends are the ones I consider my best friends, because they're the ones who have stuck by me through this unfortunate situation and have supported my decisions, even though my opinions may be seen as harsh by others. they respect my feelings and encourage me to go with my gut, to move on from that friendship that had once caused me pain and sadness. 

it's a great feeling to work on your existing friendships and allow them to grow naturally. while that's something I've always attempted to do, I've been semi held back by the negativity of the other friend. waves have been made and fights have been had in the past... but that's no longer an issue thanks to the decision I've recently made to let go. it's been nothing but positive and endearing experiences since then, and I'm loving every minute of it. I can actually enjoy my friendships and learn from them, grow from them, and be inspired by them.

I've also learned to not go around trusting everyone I meet, because most of the time, people have their own motives for their actions and they may not always be well thought out. things have surfaced recently that have been somewhat shocking and I'm kicking myself in the ass for allowing myself to trust so easily. I tend to feel open with people I connect with instantly, and instead of having that little sense of doubt, I always want to see the ultimate good in people. I want to believe that no harm can be done by sharing my life with others, and I think that I want to feel secure in doing so. believe me when I say that I'm putting my guard up from now on and not blabbing about my life to every Tom, Dick & Harry I encounter, even if it seems as though they're trustworthy.

I now know that I have healthy, assuring, and respectful friendships and I appreciate them more than they'll ever know. I honestly think that if it weren't for the old friend's past actions and words, I wouldn't feel this gratitude I feel for my friends. they are so incredibly important to me, and I never realized how good they were to me until I experienced the bad of another. I am so proud to surround myself with positive influences and experience the true joy it is to have lasting and healthy friendships. so... to that old friend... thanks.