Monday, March 1, 2010

tidbits

Dear Olympics,

Thank you for being over. don't get me wrong, I'm patriotic and shit, but I'm so ready for NHL hockey to be back! I can't wait to watch the Capitals play from section 114 this Saturday. I finally get to rock my Ovechkin jersey I got for Christmas. wooo!



Love,
MandeeFoFandee

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Dear Spring,


hurry.the.fuck.up.


Regards,
Sick Of Winter

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Dear Face,

I would really appreciate it if you would stop breaking the fuck out all the time. You never bothered me in my teen years, and you didn't start acting all wonky until the past two years or so. I'm working on finding a skincare regiment that works for you, but it doesn't really help when I can't tell what is and isn't working due to having mini skin breakouts ALL the time. I would especially appreciate it if you could clear up before my birthday celebration on the 20th... where there is guaranteed to be cameras galore.

Always,
Annoyed With My Skin

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Dear Creator(s) Of Spartacus Blood & Sand,

THANK YOU for the deliciousness that is Andy Whitfield, and for the mass amount of penis shots during the show. I'm sick of seeing boobs on TV... and even though Mr. MandeeFoFandee hates it, I enjoy seeing a good looking man with his junk hangin' out every once in a while. andalso, if you could somehow convince Andy Whitfield to come to Maryland and visit me, that would be amazing. oh, and the premise of the show is pretty sweet too. ;)



Love,
Andy Whitfield's #1 Fan EVAR

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Dear Pottery Barn,

It would seriously make my entire year if you could please drop the price of the Samantha Bench... for my entryway. I would gladly pay full price for the item, if it weren't for the fact that the bench alone is $400... and then I have to buy the cushion for $75, and the baskets for $34 a piece. yes, I realize I could make my own cushion and buy the baskets elsewhere, but damnit, I love a total package. I just want to finish my entryway. is that too much to ask?



Sincerely,
Refuses to Pay Full Price for ANYTHING

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Dear Lily,

You are one hairy bitch. I'm so sick of vacuuming "your spot" on the couch every single weekend. You should really start sleeping somewhere else. This is a time when I'm SO glad we decided to not let you and your brother and sisters in the bedroom any longer. I can only imagine how furry our bed would be. Next time I try to brush you, stay still. Then I won't have to yell at you while vacuuming every Saturday.

Love,
Yo Mama

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Dear Andy Whitfield,

Have I mentioned that I love you? seriously. I would even let you go ATM if you wanted. that's how hot you are. orrrr that's how obsessed with you I am. whatevs.



Your Future Wife,
MandeeFoWhitfield



Happy Monday, bitches!

3 comments:

  1. Dear Mandee, you're hilarious. And amazing.

    Love,
    Laura

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  2. i love your fucking face, bitch! and i'm glad you told me you have a blogger. maybe this will give me an incentive to update mine more often now.

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  3. Your notes are so much fun! Thanks for blogging them for all of us to read! Capitals tickets = awesome, PB bench = super cute, Spring = cannot get here fast enough!

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I love getting comments from readers, so thank you for being so awesome!