Monday, May 13, 2013

my first mother's day.

since my mother passed in 2003, I haven't had a reason to celebrate Mother's Day. meaning that Sunday was the first time I'd even acknowledged the holiday in 10 years.

and even though I didn't really "get the day off" from motherhood, I still had a pretty fantastic day. I got to sleep in a little bit and I received an amazing gift from Sean & Ronin. they got me a sweet little personalized necklace. it has two silver discs and a little peridot (August birthstone) gem - one disc says "you are my sunshine" and the other disc says "ronin." I just need to find a better chain for it - can't wait to wear it!

we didn't really do anything special for the day - we just kinda laid low and did some housework. my dad stopped by later on in the day to drop off some fresh Maryland rockfish that he'd caught. he also schooled my ass on my veggie garden that I put in a few weeks ago - apparently my plants are WAY too close together. so I guess I'll be transplanting some of them next weekend, haha. 

I did, however, get to spend an hour or so outside on the patio planting all my new flowers into containers. I'd been collecting pots and planters for a few months, and on Saturday, I finally went to our local nursery to pick out some annuals. 

I'm pretty excited to watch as those pots get more and more full and start to overflow with gorgeous blooms. 

Ronin and I also got to nap together, which is one of my absolute FAVORITE things to do. 

all in all, it was the perfect first Mother's Day. I got to spend the whole day with my mini and that's all I wanted. it's incredible how full my heart feels when I so much as think about him. he has taught me so much about myself in a mere 8.5 months. being a mom is taxing and difficult some days, but it's also so rewarding. it is the only career that requires you to be completely selfless, to put yourself second and your family first. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't realize just how heartwarming it would be to be a mother. 

I now have a new appreciation for everything my mom did for us and it makes me miss her that much more. I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her what an amazing mother she was, and how lucky we were to have her.  I just want to tell her, "I get it now." and I do. I totally get it. the feeling of your heart walking outside of your body. the desire to educate them and raise them to be good people. the worry and fear that comes with the realization that you can't always keep them safe from the world's evil. the want... no, the NEED... to be a better person for your child. I get it. and I love every minute of it. 

thanks for makin' me a mama, dude. 

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend, and to those of you that are moms - I hope your Mother's Day was as wonderful as mine was. 


  1. Love this. So very well said.

    1. thank you! I hope you had an amazing first mother's day with little Jagger.

  2. So very well said. I feel the same way about my dad. I wish I could tell him I get and I realize all of his hard work was for me and my sister.

    Your an amazing mother I can only imagine how proud your mom would be of you.

    1. it's so bittersweet - becoming a parent when you're missing one of your own. thank you, you are too sweet.

  3. it's amazing to read your blog after almost a year - I remember now why I enjoyed it so much. The picture of you and Ronin is adorable! You are a beautiful mom :)


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