holiday confessions

1. this post has nothing to do with the actual holiday season.

2. sometimes I really regret commenting on peoples' statuses on Facebook, because after I leave a comment, I get approximately 8,294 emails alerting me that someone else ALSO commented on that Facebook status. I then feel obligated to actually open the email and/or go to that status to see what the other people say, because what if they commented TO me and I didn't see it? wouldn't that be rude? I would turn off my email alerts, but then I would never know anything that anyone does on Facebook. catch 22, I suppose.

3. I highly enjoy the smell of my own farts. Sean's farts, on the other hand, can go to fucking hell. they literally smell like he ate 7 dead pigeons.

4. I've been wearing my glasses for two weeks because I'm too lazy to call and order another box of contacts. not only that, but it's kinda nice not having to put contacts in my eyes in the morning and take them out at night. granted, it's a pain in the ass to clean my glasses every 10 minutes, but they're less irritating than contacts.

5. I've eaten 5 Christmas cookies today, and I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about it. also, it looks like number 1 was a lie.

6. I think it's absolutely ridiculous how fucking cold it is outside. I can't deal with this shit, man. I do not mix well with winter. I get freaking cold in the middle of July... imagine how god damn cold I feel when it's 29 degrees outside.

7. I hate numbered lists, yet I do them on the blog all the time. what is wrong with me?

8. my house looks like Christmas threw up all over the fucking place. there are empty Amazon boxes, wrapping paper scraps, wrapped gifts, and tissue paper EVERYWHERE. I love the holidays, but seeing my house this cluttered in one room is seriously giving me hives. 

Happy Holidays, bitches!