Tuesday, October 4, 2011

ramblings: I'm lucky.

I like to ramble. sometimes I go through these emotional spurts where I feel like I just need to write and get my feelings out. my soul has the desire to spill every single thought, and so I abide by rambling.

I've said it once and I'll say it many, many times before I die... I am a lucky woman.

after reading this article, sent to me via the husband, I realized one more thing... WE are two lucky people. we are so fortunate to have found each other - we are truly each other's counterparts. I found myself wholeheartedly agreeing on all points within the article, and thinking to myself, "well, if that's what it takes, we've got this in the bag." to have discovered the strength and energy it takes to have a happy and healthy marriage within 2 years of saying our vows was a pretty huge feat, I'd say.

marriage is so much more than just loving each other and being there for one another. it's taking on life itself as a team, as two people with shared goals in this world. you can be best friends all day long, but if you don't have the balls to stick it out when shit hits the fan, you have nothing. if you don't have trust and respect, you have nothing. if you can't have a serious conversation about what you can do to better yourselves financially, followed by hours of laughing at past memories or fart jokes, you're not cut out for it.

anyone who has ever been married will tell you that marriage is hard work... if they don't, then they've either never been married, or they have a crappy surface relationship that requires no effort whatsoever, and neither parties really give a shit about maintaining a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

the day in and day out of managing finances, house work, personal needs, social lives, entertainment, and careers is draining, honestly... but once you get into that rhythm, there's nothing like it. you get into this ebb & flow of life where you each have your own responsibilities with school work, career work, or social obligations, and then you have joint aspects that you take on together. and sometimes it's a little stressful... but most of the time, it just... works. like a well oiled machine.

I really find it hard to put into words how completely (and I hate to use this word) blessed I am. not in the religious sense, but in the sense that I am so incredibly fortunate to be married to Sean. he is my absolute best friend in the entire world, the smartest person I know, and the person who makes me feel the most confident and respected. the bond we share is so much more than just "love." it's a mental and physical connection that rivals the relationship of body and brain. we finish each others' sentences without even thinking, and we can push each others' buttons like no one else.

without Sean, I am a complete person. I don't like when people say that another person "completes" them... because if you're not a complete person by yourself, you won't have the ability to love another fully. so, no... Sean doesn't make me a "complete" person... but he makes me a better person. he makes me want to go out and become a greater version of myself, to ensure an inevitably awesome future for us and our future children. we compliment each other, we supplement each other... we are not polar opposites, but there are several differences between us that allow each of us to learn something new about this life that would have gone unnoticed otherwise.

don't get me wrong - we are not perfect by any means, nor do we claim to be. but we are constantly working together to make our relationship stronger and to communicate efficiently. we argue, but we argue in a smart way - we're quick to admit when we're wrong, and we have no problems using the words "I'm sorry". there are things that he does that drives me up a fucking wall, but in the big scheme of things, I can live with those annoyances, because I know he doesn't really like it when I forget to throw out the used coffee K-cups, yet he deals.

and guess what? sometimes we even go to bed angry (insert gasp here). and you know what else? I'm totally a-okay with that. there are moments when you really need to cool off before revisiting a heated conversation, and sleep is the perfect prescription when you've got a case of the "damn, I said some fucked up things last night" syndrome. trust me on this one.

I don't really know where I'm going with this... like I said, I ramble. I guess I've just been reflecting lately, and realizing how crazy it is... how utterly fascinated I am with my husband... how undeniably giddy he makes me feel... how much respect I hold for him... and how I know that we are each other's perfect match. there is no one in the world who would make me laugh like he does, or call me out on my bullshit like he loves to do, or make me feel like I'm a better person just for knowing him.

so yeah, that's pretty much it. I love Sean, and am so grateful to have married someone as awesome as he is,  and I am honored that he chose me to be his partner in life.

aaaaand /mush


  1. Great post! I love this part, "I don't like when people say that another person "completes" them... because if you're not a complete person by yourself, you won't have the ability to love another fully."

  2. I love this! I hope to be in the same spot in 2 years; endlessly happy and willing to stick it out with my love no matter what. Happiness is wonderful! :)

  3. This is very well written! I agree with you 99.99999....% lol But I have to disagree with the statement that marriage/relationships are hard work. I have always believed that relationships have a very organic and natural way of working themselves out to either fulfillment or conclusion. My marriage is not always easy, and it does require occasional effort, but I have never in any moment considered it “work”. Work pays my bills, it doesn’t fill my heart! Maybe I’m splitting hairs, but it’s a distinction that has always mattered to me.

    I love to hear how you describe Sean. I often describe Dallas the same way. I am always very proud to tell people that he is the most decent and ethical, smartest, and caring person I have ever met. I feel like a better person when I am near him (in his “sphere of influence” as he calls it lol).

  4. I can definitely see that distinction, and appreciate your honesty! I guess my idea of work is just a bit different... it's not necessarily a paying job, but it does require more effort than I thought it would, haha. BUT it DOES give me more fulfillment than any other "job" could.

    I'm very proud of the amount of energy that I put into my marriage, and I think that a lot of times, when marriages fail, it's because one party or the other (or sometimes both) didn't want to put in the time, a know?

    either way, we're both lucky women with influential husbands. ;)

  5. mushy mushy, love it! and i agree with you - marriage is a lot of work and all TOTALLY worth it. xoxo

  6. I absolutley LOVE this post! So sweet but yet so true! I am looking forward to marriage next year, I've always heard it's not easy!


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