Sunday, February 21, 2010

peroxide stings, fyi... and a little TMI.

maybe it's just me, but Sundays don't feel like Sundays without football. and maybe it's just me, but I totally don't give two shits about the winter Olympics. I mean I get the whole "support your country's team" and all that jazz, but I don't care enough to sit down and watch every.single.fucking.event. it's just not exciting to me at ALL.

it's been a pretty productive weekend in the MandeeFoFandee household. Sean went to the Wizards game Friday night, so I took advantage of my alone time by watching all the DVR shows that he prefers not to be forced into seeing, aka Project Runway and 4 episodes of American Idol. speaking of Project Runway, I'm loving the challenges this season! Amy is definitely my favorite so far, as well as Seth Aaron. I'd be happy to see either of them win.

Saturday, we met with the accountant for my company so he could do our taxes. it's our first year filing jointly, so I was kinda excited about it (nerd? yes). turns out, we should be getting a good amount back and may even qualify for a bigger return since we installed new windows and insulation in the house... now I just have to find the invoices to see how much of the possible $1500 write off we can get! we spent the rest of the day being lazy and watching shows on DVR, including the new episode of Spartacus Blood & Sand.

now onto the point of this post. sometime during the day on Saturday, I had an incredible itch... coming from my butt crack. now I'm not talking about deep in there near the balloon knot or anything... but just right at the top of my butt crack. so naturally, I rubbed/scratched it until it stopped itching. well later on in the evening, I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and sat on our front step. all of a sudden, I felt a really sharp pain... in my crack. so I reached back there and touched the area that was itchy earlier... ouch! I came inside and informed Sean of my ailment. I asked him to look at it, which he clearly hesitated, haha. so I turned the living room light on, pulled down my sweatpants (fact: unless I leave my house, I wear sweats ALL weekend long), and spread em. okay, it's not like I put much force into it, but a little spreading had to be done. after looking at my ass for a good 10 seconds, I hear

"EWWWWWW! it's all pink and raw! what the fuck did you DO to your ass?!!"

trust me - if there was someone else there to examine my ass, I would have surely asked them instead of my husband. immediately I pulled up my pants and told him to forget it and I'd just take care of it myself. which I did. with hydrogen peroxide.

so I went into the bathroom, and for my husband's amusement, left the door open. I pulled my pants down just passed my ass cheeks and sat in the sink... poured some peroxide on a cotton round and squeezed it so that it would run down my crack. OUCH. I started screaming like Thurman Merman when he cuts his hand making Bad Santa's wooden pickle. it was bad. instead of comforting me in my moment of extreme pain, my husband whips out his cell phone to take a picture of me. lovely.

Thurman Merman & the Wooden Pickle

I was determined to clean the crap out of the house today, but when I woke up, I was feeling SO lazy. I laid around for a while, until Sean came in the living room armed with the Swiffer Wet Jet in hand. I figured if he's gunna start cleaning, I should probably help... otherwise I know I'd hear about it for a month. so I did the dishes, wiped down all the kitchen counters and the stove. then I tackled the bathroom - wiping down the sink and the toilet, and then scrubbing the tub. Sean took care of the living room... sweeping and Swiffering, and then vacuuming the couch and pillows. I'm so happy I got off my ass... I love hanging out in my house when it's spic & span.

Bear loves clean couches as much as his mama does.

I took a 2 hour long nap after our cleaning spree, and then woke up to Sean baking cookies. apparently I married Betty Crocker. this man loves sweets more than any chick I've ever met. I gotta give it to him though - the cookies were deeeelish.

nom nom noms.

in case you're wondering, the butt is healing nicely. it's a little scabbed today, which is good. yes, it still hurts, but I'm done with that peroxide noise. I also told Sean that if he told anyone or showed his cell phone pictures to any human being, I would be filing for divorce... after our tax return, naturally.

so. how was YOUR weekend? any butt injuries?


  1. Bahaha, I laugh out loud every day when I read your blog.

    Mmm, those cookies looks amazing. :D

  2. No butt injuries for me, so I'd say it was a pretty good weekend:)I'm totally with you...about the Olympics, not the ass thing. Hope it heals quick!


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